What to Do About Your Spouse’s Apron Strings
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Susan took a deep breath. “Well, the other night we were talking about our finances, and the kids, and how things are really tight right now. He thought it would be a good idea for his parents to move in with us to share some of the expenses. Maybe we could even charge them rent, or the kids could stay with them instead of going to daycare. Julie, I just can’t believe it!”
Julie wondered why Susan was so upset. After all, having extended families live together wasn’t exactly a new idea. “In Bible days, multiple generations lived together all the time,” Julie said. “Just because we don’t usually do it here, I don’t quite understand why you’re so freaked out.”
The resentment in Susan’s voice was clear. “Well, it would be just one more way for his mom and dad to try to influence our decisions hongkongcupid app.”
The Apron Strings vs. Spousal Relationship
Susan and Tom aren’t the only couple to have a problem in this area. Genesis 2:24 says, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” The King James Version calls being united “cleaving.” This refers to God’s invention of a unique bond between husband and wife that’s not to be compromised by their relationship with their parents.
Resist the Drift Marriage Conference
Does this mean that we cut ourselves off from our families of origin? Not if they’re reasonably healthy. Maintaining relationships with our parents usually is beneficial. But problems arise if factors like the following are present:
- One spouse relies too heavily on the parents to help in decision-making, leading the other spouse to feel insignificant.
- One spouse looks to the parent, not the partner, to get his or her emotional needs met, leading the partner to feel ignored.
- One spouse reveals details of marital conflict with his or her parents, leading the other spouse to feel betrayed.
1. Decision-making dysfunction
Couples need the freedom and autonomy to make their own decisions. Read more
